Can you still have sex if you had herpes?
It's normal to feel upset after a herpes diagnosis. Herpes remains in the body for life and can produce symptoms that come and go. You may wonder if you can have sex again with herpes.
Can you still have sex if you had herpes? The truth about herpes is that it's completely possible to have a fulfilling sexual and social life if you have herpes, whether you have HSV-1 or HSV-2.
can you still be sexually active with herpes? But with open communication and some changes to the ways you have sex, it doesn't have to mean the end of your sex life.
You can have a fulfilling sex life, even though it may be more complicated than it was before your diagnosis. Now, you must be careful about what you do and when you do it. Most people with herpes find that maintaining romantic and sexual relationships is far easier than expected.
So let's dig into everything you might want to know about life, dating, and how to have great sex with herpes.
How to have great sex with herpes
Even if you have herpes and your partner doesn't, you can easily have a fulfilling sex life while minimizing your risk of spreading the virus.
Follow every safe sex guideline and use antiviral drugs to suppress herpes within your body, it simply isn't possible to completely eliminate the risk of spreading the virus to your partner. The following steps can go a long way towards reducing your transmission risk.
Before you think about sex, focus on treating your herpes
You may take a break from sexual activity once you first find out that you're infected. Most people with an active herpes infection find out about their status during the initial outbreak of the virus.
During an initial outbreak, the virus undergoes a replication process in your body, taking over cells and spreading at a rapid pace. Instead, you should speak to your healthcare provider.
Antiviral medications such as valacyclovir can be used to speed up the rate of healing, allowing your body to recover from the initial outbreak faster.
Communicate with Your Partner
If you have herpes, it's important to be open and honest about it with your sexual partner. This is a trust builder — and hiding the information can be a trust breaker. Being open will protect you both and help your partner understand why you want to use condoms.
Do not have sex during the outbreak
Your risk of infecting your sexual partner with herpes is as its highest during an outbreak, since the herpes sores that can develop during this period contain large amounts of highly infectious viral fluid. As such, it's best to avoid all sexual activity during recurrent outbreaks.
Stop having sexual contact as soon as you feel warning signs of an outbreak. Warning signs may include a burning, itching, or tingling feeling. Do not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex — even with a condom. Wait until seven days after the sore heals. The virus can spread from sores not covered by the condom. It can also spread in sweat or vaginal fluids to places the condom doesn't cover.
Use condoms
While condoms don't completely eliminate the risk of transmitting herpes to your partner, they do make a difference. Using a condom significantly reduces your risk of herpes transmission when used effectively.
Use a dental dam
Dental dams protect you or your partner's genitals against diseases that can spread through oral contact, such as oral herpes. A dental dam acts like a condom for oral sex, shielding your partner from direct contact and reducing the risk of transmitting the virus.
Use antiviral medications
Antiviral medications such as valacyclovir stop the herpes virus from spreading within your body, reducing the level of viral shedding that occurs even when you aren't experiencing an outbreak. Studies show that you're 48 percent less likely to transmit herpes to your partner if you take valacyclovir for suppressive herpes therapy
Accept that there's still a risk of infection
It's important to be aware that even with the safe sex practices listed above, it's still possible for the herpes virus to spread to your partner. This means that both you and your partner need to understand and accept the risks and implications that come with a herpes infection before having sex.
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Deal with the stigma around herpes
After being diagnosed with genital herpes, some people report feeling anxious, depressed, and alienated. Stigma and misinformation can lead people with genital herpes to withdraw from dating and sex.
Some people may felt I wouldn't be able to have casual sexual experiences ever again. You need to gain a stronger sense of self-worth. This helps you feel more empowered in pursuing sexual relationships overall.
When and how should I tell someone I want to sleep with that I have herpes?
Jumping back into dating and hooking up post-diagnosis can be daunting even if you've accepted your genital herpes, because at some point you'll need to disclose your status to a potential partner.
You might worry that you'll face judgment, rejection, or a barrage of invasive or ill-informed questions.
There is no one perfect time to disclose a genital herpes diagnosis. The only hard and fast rule is that you should disclose your status before you're about to be intimate with someone, so that your potential partner has a chance to weigh their feelings, ask questions, and make an informed decision.
If you bring facts and confidence to the table, it will increase the likelihood of someone responding with curiosity rather than judgment.
It's particularly useful to step into a conversation with fast facts about how herpes spreads, how common the condition actually is, and how rare real and substantive health risks related to it are.
When you talk to someone openly about your condition, it's also entirely possible they'll feel more comfortable opening up about things that affect their sex life as well, which almost always makes sex better for everyone involved.
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Can you still have sex if you had herpes? Success stories
The truth is that life and sex with herpes is nowhere near as dire as many people seem to believe. It took a lot of self-reflection and research. How does Herpes influence sex life? Here are success stoires from other people with herpes.
Can you still be intimate with herpes? It hasn't been a problem. When I first got my diagnosis, I thought my life was over and I'd be alone forever because no one would ever want to be with me.
Surprisingly, most guys haven't cared, because I take Valtrex and don't get outbreaks because of it. No one has caught it from me, and it hasn't been a problem.
But I always informed guys early on. I even had a boyfriend once who, when I told him I had it, he told me he had it too. When I told my current boyfriend about it, he said, "You're not getting rid of me that easy, nice try."
How does herpes influence your sex life? I Always disclose before sexual contact. The worst part of herpes is the social stigma. If you are comfortable with your diagnosis most will be too.
Some will not be ok with it but in my experience it weeds out the stinkers and those that were only interested in sex anyways. You are worthy of sex and love just as much as anyone else.